It's happened

Today, M finally saw his baby boy for the first time since August of last year. It happened by accident, as I knew it would, but that doesn't mesn it was any less traumatic. I was driving the baby to our house from his house and got a call from M. I didn't answer, but suddenly I looked to my right and there he was driving alongside me! He could see I had the baby in the car, so we both rolled down our windows, and he said, "Please, Mom; let me see him." I just couldn't say no, I just couldn't. I told him to go to my house and all the way there the baby was saying, "That's my dad; where's my dad's car?" When I finally pulled in and handed the baby to M the baby just put his head down on his dad's shoulder and didn't move. M must have held him like that for at least five minutes, and he just cuddled with his dad and didn't make a sound. He didn't cry; he didn't talk, he just let his dad hold him. I cried and cried, and M got tears in his eyes, as well. Finally he said he wanted his dad to come in the house, and M said he could for a minute, but he had to go to work (he was doing a sprinkler job for someone today). The baby showed him his trains, wanted him to watch Wall-E, and talked and talked to him. When M said he really had to go I told the baby we could go to the carwash, and he wanted his dad to go too. M told him again that he had to go to work, so the baby and I followed behind him for awhile until he turned off. I did not cry anymore, but I'm crying now. It was the most precious thing to see them together, and M was as tender and loving as he's always been with that baby. His girlfriend, D, was with him, and she told me, when M and the baby were out of hearing, that she can see where J is coming from, and that M really SHOULD be paying child support, and he SHOULD agree to get a drug test. She gave me $60. to give to J, so I told J that M had stopped by to give me that money, not knowing that the baby was there. When I called to tell her that M had seen the baby she told me that the baby had told her M had been at our house when he was here last week, but I assured her again, that I'd NEVER let him see his dad until today, and that I wasn't hiding anything from her. She said that it's not that she doesn't want the baby to see his dad she just wants to be sure his dad is sober when he does see him. She was glad for the money, and I bought her some groceries with it, which she really needed. I'm still very teary-eyed about their seeing each other. I hope this is a good beginning for them to have a relationship in the future, and I hope this doesn't mess with the baby's head. I'm afraid he'll start thinking about it, and cry or something.

Tomorrow my granddaughter is going to tend him for awhile so she can earn a little money. I'll go out in the morning and sit with him until he wakes up then I'll take him to her house, I guess. We're supposed to go to dinner with my other son, his wife, and kids for his youngest son's birthday at 6:15. Not sure what I'll do if I've picked up the baby by then. Take him with us, I guess. We'll work it out. Sure wish I knew when J will be off work, so I could plan my day. It's tough just waiting for her to call and say she's off work.

I'm tired after being up since 5:30 a.m. so I'm going to bed early tonight.